I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.