Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.