Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
