Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(478): View more from Georgia

This is not my ceiling

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(478): This is not my ceiling http://tfl.nu/p46e

Replies (11) Good night (1857) Bad night (673)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"

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(617): So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK" http://tfl.nu/gedz

Replies (17) Good night (5335) Bad night (812)
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(315): View more from New York

My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning

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(315): My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning http://tfl.nu/4o81

Replies (14) Good night (6120) Bad night (762)
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(443): View more from Maryland

And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces

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(443): And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces http://tfl.nu/q5gv

Replies (6) Good night (714) Bad night (1836)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.

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(612): she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device. http://tfl.nu/3o4n

Replies (14) Good night (2139) Bad night (760)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.

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(405): No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm. http://tfl.nu/8gfx

Replies (4) Good night (2106) Bad night (708)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions

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(609): Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles? (1-609): In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions http://tfl.nu/67pw

Replies (2) Good night (1883) Bad night (574)
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(805): View more from California

What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.

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(805): What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc. http://tfl.nu/01sm

Replies (29) Good night (3515) Bad night (663)
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(636): View more from Missouri

You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.

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(636): You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone. http://tfl.nu/14uf

Replies (7) Good night (537) Bad night (369)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad

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(978): Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad http://tfl.nu/i4wh

Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (757)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.

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(218): She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever. http://tfl.nu/8rzl

Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (459)
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(503): View more from Oregon

But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"

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(503): But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!" http://tfl.nu/pacv

Replies (0) Good night (924) Bad night (310)
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(940): View more from Texas

On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket

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(940): On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket http://tfl.nu/seng

Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (205)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then

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(860): You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island (1-860): Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then http://tfl.nu/u0l8

Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (166)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.

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(484): There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on. http://tfl.nu/3ihu

Replies (1) Good night (268) Bad night (106)

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