I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"