Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.

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  (650): I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs. http://tfl.nu/bo8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1869) Bad night (706)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.

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  (201): Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else. http://tfl.nu/yjnf
  Replies (2) Good night (662) Bad night (1133)
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  (951): View more from California

  I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.

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  (951): I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes. http://tfl.nu/5gti
  Replies (25) Good night (810) Bad night (3484)
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  (328): View more from

  im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

  (1-328): View more from

  anal.

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  (328): im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is? (1-328): anal. http://tfl.nu/bglg
  Replies (33) Good night (5950) Bad night (1601)
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  (760): View more from California

  so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.

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  (760): so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig. http://tfl.nu/u35s
  Replies (12) Good night (2090) Bad night (5124)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.

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  (715): I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting. http://tfl.nu/jzvn
  Replies (26) Good night (5400) Bad night (1395)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school

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  (360): Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school http://tfl.nu/4t6a
  Replies (10) Good night (2414) Bad night (833)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.

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  (205): I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos. http://tfl.nu/nbvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1984) Bad night (839)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  trapped on the roof of the strip club. help

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  (513): trapped on the roof of the strip club. help http://tfl.nu/oy6k
  Replies (6) Good night (2193) Bad night (672)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.

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  (620): So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive. http://tfl.nu/y5fy
  Replies (8) Good night (672) Bad night (1939)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.

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  (609): I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth. http://tfl.nu/4sxy
  Replies (0) Good night (777) Bad night (351)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.

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  (585): I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in. http://tfl.nu/1xha
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (588)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!

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  (870): Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking! http://tfl.nu/tcnj
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (342)
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  (518): View more from New York

  There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."

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  (518): There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina." http://tfl.nu/mvmf
  Replies (3) Good night (1092) Bad night (349)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.

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  (850): So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this. http://tfl.nu/uwka
  Replies (10) Good night (741) Bad night (400)

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