Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.

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(410): I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night. http://tfl.nu/l8h9

Replies (14) Good night (2213) Bad night (675)
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(970): View more from Colorado

3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.

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(970): 3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4. http://tfl.nu/2tep

Replies (16) Good night (7613) Bad night (756)
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(847): View more from Illinois

A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college

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(847): A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college http://tfl.nu/uf6j

Replies (37) Good night (5474) Bad night (698)
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(903): View more from Texas

So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants

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(903): So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants http://tfl.nu/066x

Replies (12) Good night (3313) Bad night (1267)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

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(507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6

Replies (6) Good night (1030) Bad night (3294)
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(562): View more from California

It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.

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(562): It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice. http://tfl.nu/vbsf

Replies (28) Good night (4982) Bad night (3724)
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(804): View more from Virginia

she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"

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(804): she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart" http://tfl.nu/96tn

Replies (5) Good night (3031) Bad night (1159)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.

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(978): If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again. http://tfl.nu/fk6d

Replies (13) Good night (918) Bad night (1213)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.

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(201): You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME. http://tfl.nu/tcyr

Replies (15) Good night (4912) Bad night (908)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

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(505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik

Replies (3) Good night (679) Bad night (403)
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(312): View more from Illinois

My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.

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(312): My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him. http://tfl.nu/tfrh

Replies (7) Good night (1069) Bad night (525)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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(262): one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday! http://tfl.nu/b0h1

Replies (2) Good night (722) Bad night (420)
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(503): View more from Oregon

This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Finding that toy duck there was weird right?

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(503): This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again." (1-541): Finding that toy duck there was weird right? http://tfl.nu/x1mm

Replies (0) Good night (832) Bad night (392)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.

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(413): I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college. http://tfl.nu/4oip

Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (325)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.

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(617): the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it. http://tfl.nu/pyx3

Replies (3) Good night (1357) Bad night (422)

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