You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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