she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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