So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
