god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
