Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
