At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
