ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
