im having a threesome with these popsicles
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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