Your favorite bartender is back from prision
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
