You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
