How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My vagina is very pro this idea
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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