We're facebook friends in real life
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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