i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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