it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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