Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
as a side note pls kill me
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
