me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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