I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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