Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
