Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
