i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
