So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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