Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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