i jhust puked up my retainher.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
