if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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