I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
