I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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