So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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