There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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