hell yes lets make some ravioli
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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