I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
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i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
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Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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