so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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