The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
