normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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