Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's shark week go big or go home
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
