I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
