so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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