these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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