you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
