Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
