I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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