just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
