I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
