just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
