The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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