So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
