thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I looked at my own cervix.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
