I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
