there was a trapeze. enough said
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
