So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
