you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
