you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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