the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
