If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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