Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
