I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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