Pants 0. Shit 1.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
