did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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