plz talk dirty to me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
