I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
