dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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