I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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