Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
