Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
